Saints and Demons
by The Blue Raven
Summary: Max hasn't had a seizure in a while. Now they're back with a vengance, forcing Logan to call on an exManticore doctor to help Max and awakening old demons for everyone.
1. Demons

SAINTS AND DEMONS

by: Blue

Summary: It's been a while since Max has gotten her seizures. Now they're back with a vengeance and Logan has to call on an ex-Manticore scientist to help Max out, awakening old demons for everybody.

Disclaimer: I don't own Max, Logan, et al. I only enjoy getting inside their heads every now and then. Doctor Tavinia Jericho, aka Octavia Johnson, is a product of my own, diseased imagination.

Rating: PG-13, I guess. Probably closer to PG. Just being safe…

Feedback: Yes, please! Feed me, feed me!!!

**Saints and Demons**

Chapter 1 -- Demons

"You just stay put today, Boo. I'll tell Normal that you won't be into work."

"Thanks, Cindy." Max tried to smile up at her roommate, but found herself wracked by another seizure instead.

Cindy ran back to the side of the bed and wrapped her arms around Max, holding her close and whispering reassuringly until the spasms eased. Feeling as horrible as Max looked, she helped her friend lie back down and tucked the blanket tightly around her. "I'm sorry it's so cold in here, Boo. With the power out..."

"I know." Max nodded weakly. "Crappy timing. Normal's gonna be pissed."

"He'll get over it." Cindy made a face at the mention of their boss. She turned to leave, then turned back. "Do you need a doctor? I could call one..."

"And tell him _what_?" Max asked weakly. "It's bad, but I've had worse. I'll get over it, Cindy, don't worry."

"I could stay home today--"

"Don't you dare!" Max protested, shaking her head. "Please, Cindy. I'll be fine..."

"I could call Logan..." Cindy suggested.

"So he can come and stare at me all day?" Max shook her head, her sarcasm hiding a deeper concern. "I hate to see him suffer like he does when I'm bad, Cindy. Please don't call him."

Cindy had never heard Max plead before. It was unsettling. "Okay, Boo. Take it easy. You want some more milk? Before it goes bad?"

Max nodded weakly. "It'll be warm. That's good."

"Cool. I'll get it." Cindy fled the room and poured the last of the milk into a clean glass. She sniffed it cautiously before bringing it in to Max, who drained it without stopping. 

"That it?"

Cindy nodded. "Sorry, Boo."

"That's okay." Max sighed and leaned back in the bed. "Don't worry, Cindy. I just need a nap and I'll be fine."

"Hang in there, Boo. I'll try to come and check on you during my lunch hour."

"Thanks, Cindy. You're a good friend." Max smiled shyly at her. "I appreciate everything you've done for me."

Max was not just talking about everything that Cindy had done for Max this morning, and Cindy knew it. She blushed. "Just getting my sister's back. Nothing that unusual in it." Cindy left before Max could speak again. Her first stop when she arrived at Jam Pony was Normal's office. "Max is sick." 

Normal looked up from his work, illuminated by a small oil-lamp, and eyed her impassively. "_And_?"

Cindy scowled and put her hands on her hips. "_And_ won't be in today."

Normal sighed. "What's wrong with her this time? Another aunt die?"

Cindy glared at him. Max's frequent absences were a source of great frustration to Normal. "You know that heart transplant she had?" Cindy demanded, folding her arms over her chest.

Normal winced, recalling how Max had marched back into work one day after an unexplained absence of several months and pulled up her shirt in full view of everyone to demonstrate the truth of her heart-transplant story. "Acting up, is it? Well, tell her I hope she feels better." Normal rose and hastily shooed Cindy out of his office.

"I'm going to use the phone up here to call Logan." Cindy informed him as he tried to close the door. Normal looked ready to protest, then changed his mind and nodded weakly. He had met Logan a few times, a nice guy who seemed to genuinely love and look after Max. If Max was sick, Logan was probably the guy to call to find her some medical care, and, for all his bluster, Normal's regard for Max went well beyond an employer's interest in a top employee. For all her personal and physical problems, she was a sweet kid, and he would have hated to see her hurt. So he ignored his own policy against personal phone-calls at work and gestured for Cindy to use his office. She looked a little surprised as he stepped out, but smiled gratefully. Normal shrugged and walked to the front desk. 

Cindy smiled and shook her head as Normal closed the door, leaving her in privacy. Like all the employees, she liked to give him a hard time, but, deep down, he was not a bad guy. She picked up the phone and dialed Logan's number, wondering when she had memorized it and why. She honestly could not remember. After the fourth or fifth ring, she began to worry that he might not be home. Because the power was out, the answering machine was not working. She was just beginning to wonder how the hell else she was supposed to get in touch with him when he picked up the phone. There was a loud clatter, as though the phone had been dropped, and then Logan's voice.

"Hello?" he asked, sounding out of breath and a little harried.

"Logan." Cindy wondered where he had been. Shower? Bed? Bed with a woman? She shook her head, knowing the last option was unlikely. "It's Cindy."

"Hey." Logan sounded surprised and almost disappointed. Another mystery for Cindy to work out. "Sorry it took me so long to get to the phone. I kind of had a... problem." He was panting.

Cindy frowned, wondering what the hell was going on. She finally decided that it did not really matter. "Hey, um... Logan, Max is kind of sick. I was wondering if you could hook her up with a doctor?"

"Sure. What's going on?"

"She's been having really bad seizures again. I mean _bad_. I found her on the bathroom floor this morning. She drank a gallon of milk and took like five of those pills of hers, but she's not much better."

"Okay. I'll... see what I can do. I might know a doctor who can help her out. If not, I'll call Sam."

"Thanks, Sugar." Cindy hesitated. "Is everything okay?"

"I'll be fine." Logan's cheerfulness sounded forced.

"Um, okay. Thanks. I'll be at Jam Pony if you need me."

"Thanks. I'll talk to you later, Cindy. Have a nice day."

"Yeah, Sugar. Bye." Cindy hung up the phone, frowning. _Something _was up with Logan. Knowing that his down moods could be _really_ down, she muttered a silent prayer for the man before getting to work.

From the floor of his apartment, Logan reached up and tried to return the phone to the receiver. Even after he had pulled himself into a sitting position, he could not quite reach. Cursing, he threw the receiver across the room. It reached the end of the cord and snapped back, grazing his forehead. He cursed and wiped away a stream of blood. 

"This day _sucks_!" he shouted to no one in particular.

It had started well enough, to be sure. But then his exoskeleton had shorted out. His legs were still splayed in front of him on the floor, twitching spasmodically. When the phone had begun to ring, he had considered ignoring it. Then he had considered that it might be Asha calling with some S1W emergency. Or that doctor he had been trying to contact. Or Max, calling to just say hi. And that last one had propelled him to crawl from the kitchen, where he had been when the suit shorted out, to the computer-room.

As he sat there, trying to figure out what he was going to do about Max, it occurred to him that it was not the _day_ that sucked. It was not even the situation. It was _life_ that sucked! Here he was, broke, broken, unable to walk, unable to so much as touch the woman he loved. No wonder so many of his days lately had been bad ones. Shaking his head, he crawled back towards his bedroom to get the ridiculous suit off and climb into his wheelchair. 

Oddly enough, being in the wheelchair was faintly comforting. Or, at least, comfortable. At least he was back in control of something. His body had not been his to control in a long time, and he had gotten used to that, more or less, but it still bothered him that he did not always have control, did not always know whether or not, in five minutes or five hours or five seconds, he was going to be in control of his own movements. It must have been how Max felt when she got those seizures.

Remembering Max made him feel less sorry for himself as he set his mind on how he was going to make things better for her. Sam, he suddenly remembered, was out of town this week, away at some conference or other, convinced that this time he would actually find the answer and free Logan from his dependence on the wheelchair and the exoskeleton. And, of course, he would be quietly spreading the word about Manticore at the same time, furthering the Eyes Only agenda.

So who to call to help Max? He wished, for the thousandth time, that he could go to her and hold her in his arms and reassure her that everything would be okay. Doctor Jericho was still not replying to his attempts to get in touch, which left Bling. He was not _quite_ a doctor, but he knew about Max, and he would help them. He bent over to pick up the phone and replaced it in its cradle, trying to think. After a few seconds, he dialed Bling's number with a shaking hand.

"Hello?"

"Bling."

"Logan!" Bling sounded pleased to hear his friend's voice. "How's it going man?"

"Not great. Max is kind of sick, man. She needs a doctor, but..."

"She at your place?" Bling interrupted.

"Hers."

"I'll be there in twenty minutes. I just need to call up Kev to take over my morning rounds."

"Thanks, Bling. I appreciate it."

"No problem." As Bling spoke, Logan could hear keys and papers rattling in the background. "Any progress on that virus thing?"

"Still working on it. I've put out some feelers trying to contact an old friend who might be able to help, but she hasn't returned my calls yet. I think she's still pissed at me for getting that price put on her head."

"Yeah, well, that turns a lot of women off for some reason. Look, I'm out the door, okay."

"I'll meet you there." Logan promised, hanging up the phone. He started towards the door, stopping long enough to grab his cell-phone. In the car, he dialed Max, praying that she would answer. The cell-phone must have been right next to her bed because it was answered on the second ring.

"Hello?" Max's voice was weak. "Logan?"

"Yeah, Max. How are you holding up?"

"I'm sorry. I told Cindy not to call you. I'll be fine, really."

"Bling's on his way, Max. I just want you to stay on the line with me until he gets there. Can you do that?"

"I think so, yeah. But... talking's hard."

"Then I'll talk and you can listen. Sound good?"

A slight pause, then, "Yeah. Okay. I'd appreciate it. I _hate_ these things."

"I know. Just hang in there. Tell me what triggered the seizure."

"You promised I wouldn't have to talk." Max's voice was little more than a weak croak.

"I know, Max, baby, just hang in there. You've got us all really worried about you. I just need to hear your voice right now. Just... hum if that's all you can do. Just so I know you're still with me."

Max began to hum weakly, and Logan hung on to that sounds like a life preserver. He was searching for his sector pass with one hand when he heard Bling's gentle voice speaking to Max over the phone. As he handed his pass to the guard, Bling spoke to him.

"I have her now, Logan. I'll take good care of her."

"You'd better, man. She's all I've got. I'll see you soon."

"Soon." 

***

Logan hesitated at the door of Max's bedroom. He had not been inside since her return, and he was reluctant to enter uninvited.

"You're okay, man." Bling rose from his chair by the bed and walked over to Logan. "She was hurting so I gave her a shot of morphine. She'll sleep it off and feel a lot better."

"Thanks." Logan sighed and stared at her.

"I know it must be hard on you..." Bling ventured.

"You have no idea." Logan sighed and closed his eyes. "When she's like that, all I want to do is put my arms around her and hold her close. I can't even offer her that comfort anymore, Bling." He felt tears burning his eyelids. "Why is this happening to us?" he muttered to no one in particular.

"You _know_ why, man." Bling sighed and wheeled  him into the living room. 

"Yeah..." Logan sighed deeply. "Is she going to be okay?"

"I honestly don't know. I've never seen anything like this before. I'm not a neurologist, Logan. I'm not even a doctor."

"I know. I had to call someone, though."

"I'm not faulting you, man." Bling shook his head and sat down opposite Logan. "But she _needs_ a doctor."

"Not just any doctor. She needs someone who used to work at Manticore." Logan closed his eyes again. "Did I mention she won't return my calls?"

"Who? You mentioned that you were trying to contact an old friend about the virus..."

"Yeah. We went to high school and college together. She... kind of used to work for Manticore. She's the one who gave me the original information about them. She's been in hiding for years, though. She could be dead and I wouldn't know it."

"That's hard."

Logan nodded. "I don't know if she's dead or still running or just pissed off. If I could get in touch with her, though, I know she could help Max with these seizures."

"Then you have to get in touch with her." Bling's voice was even more gentle than usual, a sure sign that he had bad news to share. "Max is running a high fever, Logan, and showing signs of some neurological impairments. Now, they _could_ be from the fever."

"Or the seizures might have finally fried my brain?"

"Max! You shouldn't be up." Logan wheeled towards her, stopping when she backed away.

"What's with this funny taste in my mouth?"

Bling rose and took her arm. "Morphine. Remember?"

She shook her head weakly, but allowed herself to be led back to bed, staring at Logan as she went. "Thanks, man..." she managed before another seizure hit.

Bling gently broke her fall and bore her to the ground, muttering reassuringly as he rolled her onto her side and cradled her until the seizure eased. He looked up at Logan. "I know you're trying to reach that doctor, but try harder. I'm not sure how much more of this her body can take."

Logan nodded, shaken. "I'll be back when I have something."

***

Logan sat nervously in the small teahouse, twirling his empty cup in his hand and staring around anxiously. He wondered what was taking her so long, and if he would even know her when he saw her. He wondered if she would be able to help, and willing to. He wondered about a lot of things, especially as the petite redhead who had just entered the teahouse took one look at him and started straight towards him, her face grim, her eyes unreadable. She wore jeans, and the kind of brown t-shirt that soldiers still wore under their BDUs. The waist-length black hair that had once been her pride and joy had been died auburn and was cut close to the head in a kind of spike. She had lost weight, too, Logan observed, and not in a healthy amount. Still, she looked nothing like she once had, and he supposed that was the point.

"Thank-you for coming, Tavi."

She reached into her purse and pulled out a bottle of pills, helping herself to a few. "Do me a favor and tell Eyes Only that, next time he used me real name in a broadcast, I'll take those baby-blues as a souvenir and he'll have to find a new handle."

"I'll pass that along." Logan shifted uncomfortably. "But he needed to get in touch with you."

"He has. What?" Tavi glanced anxiously over one shoulder. "You do realize that I've spent the last ten years trying to convince the world that I'm dead? That the bounty that's on my head because of Eyes Only specifies how many pieces I should be cut into before I'm allowed to die?"

"I know, Tavi." Logan sighed.

After a slight pause, she spoke again. "I was sorry to hear about your... accident." Tavi allowed compassion to creep into her voice, her hard manner falling away. She was afraid, the only reason for her harsh words, but she was still his Tavi.

"Thanks. I appreciate it." Logan covered one of her shaking hands with his own. "I'm sorry to have had to call on you like this, but it's very important."

Tavi nodded weakly. "What's going on, Lo?"

"One of your kids is sick."

Tavi's eyes widened and her already-pale face went even whiter. "They're still alive?"

"I promised you I would do what I could to take care of them once I found them. The ones who called themselves Max, Zack, Krit, and Sil are still alive."

"The others?"

"Tinga, Ben, and Brinn are dead. The others I don't know about."

Tavi nodded weakly. "Which is sick?"

"Max."

"Seizures?" 

Logan recoiled. "How'd you know?"

"For Max it was always seizures. If it was Krit or Jondy, I'd be more worried about Werner's, but for Max it was always those damned seizures. How is she?"

"Not good."

Tavi rose. "Bring me to her."

Logan hesitated. "She doesn't know about you, Tavi. I never told her anything."

"That's just as well. Max was a defiant one. She wouldn't accept my help if she knew my past."

"Then I won't tell her." Logan left some money on the table and started towards the door. "Let's go."

Tavi paused suddenly. "Logan? How did Ben die?" 

"You really don't want to hear that story right now." 

***

Max's fevered sleep was haunted by dreams. She hated dreaming, if only because the dreams that were not nightmares were memories, and the memories were often worse than the nightmares. She was having trouble separating this particular dream-memory from the reality of her present situation. She was sick, she knew, with a high fever and horrible seizures, but beyond that she just was not sure what was real and what was not. 

Was she in a Manticore isolation unit or at home in bed? _Home? Manticore is my home. I am X5-423._

"No!" she cried, struggling up through the darkness, "My name is Max."

"Take it easy, Max..." a gentle male voice whispered, pushing her back into the soft mattress.

Was it Lydecker? He sometimes came to her when she was sick. But the voice was wrong for Lydecker. _No, it's not Lydecker. It's Bling. _Bling who? Was he a doctor? A nurse with Manticore? Another phantom in her mind like the gentle man with the glasses? What was his name?

_Logan. His name is Logan._ Oh... Of course. Logan. Her imaginary friend, right? _No. He's not imaginary at all. He's real. He's my guardian angel. _

A female voice, "Hang in there, Boo. Everything's going to be okay."

_"Everything's going to be okay, lovely. I'm going to take care of you."_

"Doctor Jericho?" Max muttered, trying to open her eyes. Even when she did, though, she could not see clearly for some reason.

"No, Boo. It's Cindy."

"Cindy?" Max asked in confusion.

"Yeah, Boo. Bling's here with me. We're taking care of everything."

_"We're taking care of everything."_

"Yes, Doctor..." Max muttered weakly before drifting back into sleep.

"I think she's delirious." Bling muttered to Cindy, placing a cool washcloth on her forehead.

Cindy nodded and wrapped her hands around one of Max's. "I hope Logan comes through with this doctor friend of his soon."

***

_"What's wrong with her, Tavi?"_

_"I don't know, Deck. The seizures should _not_ be this bad." Tavi looked over at the little girl on the hospital bed. "We've got her on so many tranquilizers that it's a wonder she can still move. But she keeps having seizures and she keeps struggling against the restraints."_

_"You can't let her die, Tavi. Not this one. She's not like the others."_

_"I know, Deck. Your X5-423 is special. I know. I'll take care of her."_

_"She's awake." Lydecker moved to the side of the bed and touched the girl's cheek in a gentle caress. "Can I sit with her for a while?"_

_"Just don't let anyone catch you." Tavi muttered, leaving the room, chart in hand. _

_The little girl tried to sit up, but was stopped by the restraints. Panicked, she struggled._

_"Take it easy, Max..." Lydecker whispered gently, putting his hand on her chest and gently pushing her back down._

_She looked up at him, afraid, surprised that he knew about her secret name. _

_"That's right, Max," Lydecker whispered, pulling a chair next to the bed. "I know all about the names you have for each other. But it's okay. I won't tell. You're my kids and I love you. Especially you. I shouldn't even be here right now, but you're different. You're special. Do you even know that about yourself? If you had known her..." he trailed off as Tavi re-entered the room._

_Tavi walked over to the little girl with a needle in her hand. The little girl struggled again, wide-eyed and afraid._

_"Everything's going to be okay, lovely." Tavi's voice was gentle and reassuring as she emptied the contents of the needle into the little girl's IV. "I'm going to take care of you."_

_The little girl relaxed as she felt the pain that had been tormenting her ease._

_"Take it easy, Max..."_

_"We're taking care of everything."_

_The little girl nodded weakly and closed her eyes, allowing darkness to claim her._

_Lydecker and Tavi stood side by side staring down at the little girl who meant more to them than anyone else in the world, who very well might die tonight if Tavi could not help her._

_Lydecker spoke first. "She'll be okay. She's a fighter."_

_"You think that's what's keeping her alive?" Tavi shook her head. "You've never gotten it, Deck."_

_"Gotten _what_?"_

_"It. The thing that keeps her alive. Keeps all of them alive."_

_"My kids are fighters."_

_"Our kids may be fighters, but that's not what keeps them alive."_

_"What then?"_

_"Love." Tavi checked the little girl's IV to avoid having to look at Lydecker. "Love and faith. We never designed them to have those, haven't had them ourselves in years, and yet our kids found a way to have both. And _that_ is what's keeping 423 alive right now."_

_"May I sit with her?"_

_Tavi nodded and turned to leave. She hesitated at the door. "Let me know when you get tired, Deck. I'll take over for you."_

_"Thanks."_

***

Tavi hesitated in Max's living room long enough to pull on a white doctor's coat and to empty the contents of her duffle-bag onto the coffee-table. Ignoring the fact that most of the items had spilled onto the floor, she picked up a long needle and tourniquet.

"What's that? What are you doing?" Logan looked uneasily around her, trying to maneuver his chair for a better look.

"She'll be dehydrated and require fluids. I'm going to sink an IV. It'll also be a good way to deliver drugs directly into her blood-stream."

"What kind of drugs?" Logan demanded.

Tavi rolled her eyes. "Let _me_ be the doctor, Lo. I'm not going to do anything to hurt one of my own kids, and if you don't have faith in _that_, you shouldn't have called me."

Logan bowed his head contritely. "I'm sorry, Tavi. It's just that I worry about Max.

Tavi eyed him sharply, surprised. "You love her." It was not a question. Without waiting for a reply from Logan, she returned to her work. Finally, after what seemed like hours to Logan, she picked up several items, dropped them into a smaller bag, and turned to face him. "Take me to her."

"Her bedroom is this way."

"At least the lights are back on. It's a bitch to work when--" Tavi trailed off on the threshold of the door to Max's room. She stared in awe at the young woman lying in the bed. "Christ, she's beautiful, Logan."

Cindy and Bling looked up, more than a little surprised by the comment. Cindy spoke first. "Yeah, she's even hotter when she hasn't been seizing constantly for two days."

Tavi blushed and immediately made her way to the bedside, shooing Bling and Cindy away. She began laying IV tubing and a bag of saline on the nightstand. She picked up the needle and watched Max seize for a few seconds. "I need two strong bodies to hold her down."

"I'll do it." Bling stepped forward. "I'm a physical therapist for people with paralysis."

"Which makes you strong." Tavi nodded with approval. "Good." She looked at Logan. "Hey, Lo, how about using some of that great upper-body strength that I hear paraplegics are supposed to have?"

Logan shook his head and backed away.

"I've got it." Cindy said, stepping forward. "What do you need?"

Tavi stared at Logan in confusion, but quickly drew her attention back to the present. "Okay, since she is, at this point, having pretty much one constant seizure, I'm going to need her stable for long enough to sink  this line. Do either of you have a problem with blood? No? Good. What're your names?"

"I'm Cindy."

"Bling."

"Okay. Cindy, come sit here by me. The _only_ thing I need you to worry about right now is keeping her arm still. Here. Hold it in your lap and don't let her move it. Bling, you concentrate on holding her still if she has a seizure half-way through this."

Bling crawled across the bed until he was sitting next to Max. "Ready."

"Cindy?"

Cindy nodded weakly and drew Max's arm into her lap. "Ready."

As Tavi tied the tourniquet around Max's arm, she noticed Logan wheeling closer to the bed to observe the procedure. Recalling how he felt about blood, she was not surprised to see him pale as she unwrapped the long IV needle. She found herself falling into her teaching mode, narrating exactly what she was doing, as much for Logan's benefit as anything.

"Now, the needle does not stay in the patient. We simply use it to place a very fine piece of rubber tubing into the vein. Once you have isolated a vein-" like all X-5's, Max had incredible veins "-you simply slide the needle in, being careful to avoid terminating at or near a valve, which will slow down delivery. Once you have blood in the tubing, that means you've been successful. Now you simply slide the needle out, leaving the tubing in. A little bleed-back is not uncommon." Tavi heard Logan wretch as her white coat was sprayed with blood. "Now you apply the hep-lock, and you're ready to go." Tavi finished screwing on the lock and glanced up at Logan, who looked pale, but otherwise okay. "Logan, hand me that tape."

Tavi quickly taped the tubing to Max's arm to prevent slipping of the tube, then she rose. She picked up the bag of saline and looked for somewhere to hang it.

"We can put a nail into the wall, if that'll do the job." Cindy offered. 

Tavi smiled at Cindy and nodded. "Perfectly."

The operation was soon accomplished, and Tavi hung the bag of saline on the wall over Max's bed before connecting the tubing to the line on the arm. She sat down on the bedside and felt for Max's pulse.

"What is that?" Logan asked, pointing to the bag.

"Saline. Just like they would give to you or me if we got dehydrated. It's what comes next that's different. One-twenty-eight."

"One-twenty-eight what?" Logan asked.

"Her pulse."

"That's unheard of." Bling protested.

"Feel free to take it yourself. You know that pulse goes up in response to dehydration?"

"Yeah, but she'd have to be..."

"Exactly." Tavi nodded. "I'm not going to have enough saline."

"I might be able to get you more." Logan offered. "How much do you need?"

Tavi looked into her bag. "Five more units should suffice, Lo. I could make do with three in a pinch."

"I'm on it." Logan assured her, wheeling out.

"Thank God he's gone..." Tavi muttered. Seeing Bling and Cindy stare at her, she added, "It's always the same with boyfriends and husbands. They can't handle the sight of the girl's blood. Plus they have a habit of getting in the way." She grinned at Cindy. "But then, that's just guys in general."

Cindy laughed and nodded. "Sister, you couldn't be more right."

"Hello, man right here." Bling tried, but failed to sound wounded by the banter.

"Excluding medical professionals, of course." Tavi winked at him before returning her attention to Max.

"Um, what exactly did Logan tell you about Max?" Cindy began cautiously as Tavi began searching through her bag again.

"I know everything about her that I need to in order to treat her properly, if that's what you're worried about. And I have no plans to expose her if _that's_ what you're worried about."

"Then..."

"I've known about Max's kind for a long time. That's all you need to know. Bling, could you run into the living room and get me a syringe marked 'seretonin'?"

Bling nodded and left.

"He knows, too." Cindy told Tavi.

Tavi nodded. "Max should work harder to keep her secrets secret."

"She works damn hard on it, but circumstances keep..."

"Getting out of control. They have a way of doing that, I've noticed."

"You can say that again." Cindy gently touched Max's forehead. "Can you fix her?"

"She's touched a lot of lives out here, hasn't she?"

Cindy nodded. "Yeah, she has. If you knew her, you'd understand that."

"I do." Tavi said ambiguously. "And I'm going to do my best to fix her."

"Thanks."

"Not a problem. Cindy, right?"

"Right. But I don't think I caught yours." 

"Octavia Johnson. Tavi."

"Tavi."

They shook hands as Bling returned with a handful of syringes. "I wasn't sure how many you'd need."

"Then it's just as well that you brought all of them. I'm Tavi, by the way." Tavi grinned at him as she relieved him of the syringes. "How much does she weigh?"

"She wears a size two." Cindy offered. 

"That doesn't necessarily say a lot regarding her weight." Tavi frowned and regarded Max thoughtfully. Had she actually once had the gall to tell Lydecker 'When you don't have all the information, you sometimes need to make an educated guess based on the available data'? Shaking her head, she recalled Brinn's weight and made a guess.

"What are you doing?" Bling asked, interested.

"The seizures are basically a result of her body's inability to produce adequate amounts of seretonin. The pills and the milk help because they give her more to work with. Injecting IV seretonin bypasses the production process, so unless she's too far gone, it should slow or stop the seizures."

"_Should_?" Cindy asked.

"Theoretically." Tavi replied, emptying the syringe into Max's IV and picking up another. "Sometimes, other factors come into play as well. If her fever's been too high or lasted too long, or if she's hit her head..." Tavi trailed off, not wanting to finish.

Cindy eyed her suspiciously. "You seem like a person who's dealt with this kind of thing a lot."

Tavi's eyes flashed as she regarded Cindy. "Could we say the recriminations until later, please? I've got a patient here that I'm trying to save."

Cindy recoiled. Tavi had not raised her voice, but she had not needed to in order to convey the anger and frustration of those words. 

"Sorry, man." Cindy's voice was soft, but Tavi's face softened.

"Me, too. This is harder on me than you could know." The lights flickered and came back on. "Oh, thank God. Finally, _something_ about this day is going right." Tavi sighed softly. "Bling, grab me that last bag of saline."

"Check." Bling tossed the bag to Tavi with practiced ease, then turned his attention to the rest of the contents of the doctor's bag. "You don't plan on using all of this on Max?"

Without looking up from changing the IV, Tavi shook her head. "Of course not. Most of those are for... other people."

"Some of these are _very_ controlled substances."

"Thanks for the education." Tavi muttered. "Cindy, how long since Max has eaten?"

"Um, nothing but a gallon of milk since the seizures started."

Tavi frowned. "Right. Bling, toss me one of the small bags of glucose solution. We'll piggyback it with the saline. She's probably hurting for nutrients right now."

"Here." Bling tossed her the smaller bag. "Potassium?"

"Good call. You'll have to hold her down while I inject it."

"Why are we holding her down?" Cindy asked nervously,  staring at Max who was as still as death except for the steady rise and fall of her chest.

Bling spoke first. "Potassium can hurt. For some people it's just a mild sting. For others, it's worse, but--"

"For Max, it's torture." Tavi interrupted. Aware that both Cindy and Bling were staring at her, she connected the bag of glucose to the IV tube. "It might be better to give her a shot of morphine first."

"Even in her condition?" Bling asked.

"Even in her condition." Tavi stared at Bling, subtly challenging him. Without Logan here to back her up, her ability to treat Max effectively depended largely on her ability to convince these people that she knew exactly what she was doing. The problem with that strategy laid in the fact that, if they knew she had been Manticore, they would be that much _less_ likely to trust her to treat Max. "You've never seen her react to a potassium injection. _I_ have. Now give it over."

"Here." Bling frowned and handed her the potassium injection.

"Look." Tavi sighed. "I know you two don't trust me. Hell, you probably think I'm some kind of monster without even knowing me. Fine. Whatever. I'm not here to win any popularity contests. I _am_ here because Logan Cale called me. _He _called_ me._ Because he trusts me to treat Max. So if you don't want to, don't trust me. I don't know you, and I don't care about your trust. All I care about is making this precious child well. You can help me, or you can leave."

Bling sighed and closed his eyes. Finally, after a long wait, he handed her a syringe of morphine. "If you hurt her, I'll kill you."

"You'll have to get in line behind Logan and Cindy here." Tavi turned her attention back to Max, injecting the morphine into her IV. 

"Wh..." Max's eyes fluttered.

"Lots of deep breaths, lovely. I'm here to make you all better. I'm going to take care of you. Everything's going to be okay."

"Doctor Jericho?" Max asked weakly, looking around in confusion.

Tavi smiled and shook her head. "No, lovely. Just a friend of a friend. Now I want you to close your eyes and count back from a hundred."

"Yes, Doctor Jericho."

"Johnson, lovely. My name's Johnson." Tavi muttered as Max drifted away.

"Who's this Doctor Jericho who Max keeps asking about?" Cindy demanded of Tavi.

"Someone we both knew in a past life. A researcher who cared too much about all the wrong things. She's been dead for a long time." As she continued her work on Max, Tavi flatly refused to answer any more questions about anything even remotely related to Manticore. The only words out of her mouth were occasional updates on Max's condition. "Her pulse is back down." or "She seems more cognizant." 

By the time Logan had returns, Max was simply sleeping, resting off her ordeal. Tavi was grateful to see him because it meant that the questions of the others would be put on hold. Manticore was simply not a subject that she would ever feel comfortable discussing. Cindy and Bling wandered off to get some rest, leaving Tavi and Logan alone with the sleeping Max.

Tavi spoke first, in a low voice. "She recognized me."

"I thought that would make you happy."

Tavi shook her head. "You think she'll fondly remember the good times? Those kids never had good times! The only thing I _ever_ did for her was to make the pain go away when Deck or Renfro pushed too hard."

"You loved her."

"So did Deck. How's she feel about _him_ now?" Tavi waited as Logan struggled for an answer. "She hates all things Manticore and she has a right to. How I felt about the kids makes no difference in the long run. I'll be going as soon as she's stabilized."

"Tavinia..."

"Octavia."

"Tavi." Logan sighed and wheeled himself closer to her, taking her hands in his. "When you gave me that tip about this secret government genetics lab, do you remember how I reacted?"

"You didn't believe me. I remember."

"After everything we'd shared together, I didn't believe you. But you fought, and you gave me proof, and you _made_ me believe. And when those kids broke out, do you remember what you did? What you made me do?"

She nodded. "I made you promise to take care of my kids if you could. I've seen your broadcasts. I'm satisfied that you've kept your promise."

"Now it's time for you to keep yours." Logan's voice was firm.

"I'm scared, Lo." Tavi shook her head. "It's time to let those kids move on. I was selfish to _ever_ want or expect to be a part of their lives. They deserve to live without being reminded of the things they went through."

Logan shook his head. "You made a promise, too, Tavi. You promised to protect them."

"Too late. They have all the protection they need in you. They're more than capable of taking care of themselves, for that matter. Most of them would as soon kill me as look at me, and you know it."

"You just want an easy out." Logan's voice was accusing.

"Damn straight, I want an out!" Tavi's voice rose in pitch, but not in volume. "_I once had to put one of those kids down_!" she hissed. "Like a bloody _dog_, I had to put him down. Do you know how many times I have sat in my bed at night with a syringe of the same shit I used on him and considered ending it right there? I have no more right to live than any of the corrupt scum that you take down on a regular basis, Lo!"

Logan let go of her hands and grabbed her shoulders instead. "You have as much right to live as I do."

"No. I'm a killer. I deserve death."

"You're not the only one in this room who's killed, Tavi." Logan's voice was a whisper. "All three of us have. I've killed and I've incited others to kill in my name. At least Max was trained to kill and you were ordered to. I don't have those excuses."

"Then you know what it feels like."

"Yeah, I know exactly what it feels like. I also know that, sometimes, when life seems so dark that you're afraid there will never be another dawn, a bright spot appears on the horizon and a hand reaches out to pull you back to reality."

"You really do love her..." Tavi observed, glancing at the sleeping woman.

Logan nodded, unashamed. "Cindy once told me that no one can really know Max without loving her. I guess I'm lucky enough to be loved back. But the truth is that that's a cold comfort these days."

"How so?"

He bowed his head. "When I started trying to get in touch with you, it had  nothing to do with Max's seizures."

Tavi frowned, then thought. "It couldn't have. It's been over a week. She's only been getting them again for two or three days. What's going on, old friend?"

Logan looked up with a surprised laugh. "That's the first time you've called me your friend since you came back."

She shrugged. "Overdue, I guess. I'm sick of letting my fears dictate my behavior. So, what's up?"

"Max has this virus..." Logan took a deep breath. "It's been specifically coded to me, to my DNA. I can't touch her without dying."

"Ouch. And you love her and she loves you?"

Logan nodded and rubbed his head. "I tried to contact you because I thought you might be able to fix it."

"Because Manticore did the big bang before you could get the cure from them?"

Logan nodded again. "You got any aspirin in that little black bag? I think I'm getting a migraine."

"For a migraine, I can do better than aspirin. Let's have a look at you." Tavi pulled out a small penlight. "When's the last time you slept?"

"Um, about three hours the night before Cindy called me about Max, which was... three days ago, I think."

"About that long since you've eaten, too, I'll wager."

Logan nodded weakly. "Sorry." He hissed as Tavi shone the light into his eye. "Hey!"

"Spots?"

"Yes! Could you get that light out of my face, please? It hurts."

Tavi shook her head and reached into her bag, extracting a pair of bottle. "Take one each of these."

"What are they?"

"Excedrin and a nausea agent." She held up a glass vial and syringe. "You'll need a shot of this, as well."

"What is it?"

"Imitrex. Pull up your shirt. We'll give it to you in your stomach."

"Give it low so it doesn't hurt."

"Done." Tavi filled the needle and pulled an alcohol swab from her pocket. "Feel that?" she asked, gently touching his stomach just above the belly button. 

"No."

As she gave the shot, she asked, "They say you were shot? Saving a little girl's life?"

"Basically, yes."

Tavi swiped away a drop of blood. "Was it worth it?"

"At the time, I wasn't so sure. Now I know better."

"It must be hard to have a relationship with a woman."

"I used to think so, yeah. But Max never cared about any of the things that I thought were supposed to get in the way of a 'normal' relationship."

Tavi smiled fondly at the woman in the bed. "She must be one hell of a woman, Lo. You're a lucky man." She disposed of the used needle and replaced the bottles in her bag, then rose. "Come on."

"Where are we going?"

"I want you to lie in a dark room for fifteen minutes until the imitrex works. Hey, Cindy. Can Logan borrow your bed?" Tavi whispered, noticing Bling asleep on the sofa.

"Sure. You know where it is, Logan."

Tavi grinned. "The plot thickens."

"Not that much." Cindy laughed. "I'm gay."

"Good for you. Do you need help, Logan?"

Logan shook his head and wheeled into Cindy's bedroom, hitting the doorframe once before making it inside.

"Tell me you drugged him?" Cindy muttered to Tavi. "He hasn't slept since I called to tell him that Max was bad."

Tavi smiled. "He gave me a perfect opening. Said he had a headache. So I said that the morphine was Excedrin, the Ambien was for nausea, and the Atavan was imitrex." Tavi shrugged unrepentantly. "He'll be asleep in ten minutes. Sometimes men just don't know what's good for them. Especially Logan. Always going after all the wrong woman. About time he found a straight shooter. Speaking of which, I'm going to go check on Max."

Cindy stared after her for a second before following. "Are you gay?" she asked quietly as Tavi checked Max's IV line. "Not that it's any of my business, and I don't really know why I'm even asking, but I was kind of getting the vibe that there was history between you and Logan."

"Oh, yeah, _lots_ of history. We were engaged for a while in college."

"Oh, my bad."

"I thought I was bi at the time. I was wrong. Poor Logan has the worst luck that way."

"Oh." Cindy nodded. "How's Max?"

"She's been better." Tavi bent to feel for Max's pulse. "I won't know for sure until she wakes up, but I think she's going to pull out of this just fine."

"That's good to know."

Tavi looked up at Cindy curiously. "When's the last time _you_ slept?"

"It's been a while..." Cindy admitted.

"Do you mind crashing with Logan? That way I can keep an eye on Max without disturbing you."

Cindy grinned. "Gee, I hope Max doesn't get the wrong idea."

Tavi laughed softly. "Welcome back to the land of the living, Max. By the way, your roommate is sleeping with your boyfriend."

Laughing and shaking her head, Cindy left. "You wake me when my Boo wakes up."

"Scout's honor." Tavi held up her hand in what was either a boy-scout salute or a very rude hand-gesture in Brazil... she could not quite remember which. Grinning and shaking her head, she sat down to Max. 

After a few moments of silence, she began whispering. "I don't know if you remember me or not, but I remember you. I was there when you were only a desired outcome on a computer-screen. I was there when Deck said 'no, her eyes can't be blue'. I was there when you were put into your mother and there when you were forced out. When you were sick, I cared for you, and when you were well, I rejoiced for you. When you named each other, I looked the other way. When you discovered faith, I knew that you would make it. X5-423, I am the closest thing you ever had to a mommy, and I can only pray that you do not remember and hate me for it."

***

_"They're gone, Jericho." Lydecker paced furiously around the office. "How could you not have seen this coming?"_

_"You saw all the same things that I did, Deck. Signs. You looked the other way, too. Maybe, deep down, this is what we wanted for our kids. The final step in their journey towards perfection. Every time we tried to deny a basic human need to them, they created it anyway."_

_"What are you talking about?" Lydecker demanded. His hands were shaking. He needed a drink._

_"We denied them individuality by giving them numbers. They gave themselves names. We denied them faith by never letting a whisper of it creep into their narrow little lives. They found their Blue Lady. We denied them freedom. They took it anyway. We made them too perfect, Deck. Too human."_

_"_No_!" Lydecker shook his head furiously. "We'll get them back. We'll fix them. We'll make sure it never happens again!"_

_Tavi sighed. "How many got out? Which ones? Who was the ringleader?"_

_"Zack orchestrated it. Him, Tinga, Brinn, Krit, Max, Jondy, Ben, and Sil are the ones we're sure on. There may have been others. Not all the bodies have been found."_

_"How many bodies are we looking at?"_

_Lydecker shook his head. "At least nine." He considered and shook his head. "Ten."_

_"Who's the ten that you're not sure on?"_

_"Jinx went through the ice. We may never find her."_

_"Worst case on how many escaped?"_

_"A dozen. Not more than a dozen." Lydecker sighed. "It won't take us long to round them all back up."_

_"I'll put the retrieval team together, Deck. You look like you need a rest."_

_"Thanks, Tavi. I appreciate it."_

_It took Tavi the rest of the afternoon to put together a suitably incompetent team. By the time she left the Base, she was shaking almost as bad as Lydecker had been in the office. She helped herself to a pill as she stepped into the phone booth, more than fifty miles from the Base and twenty from her home. She had bought the phone-card with cash at the Base Exchange and planned on running it through the shredder as soon as this call was over. In her heart, she knew that these precautions would not be adequate, but it was the best she could come up with. Her hands were shaking so badly that she had to dial three times to get it right._

_The phone rang so many times that she was afraid he was not home. Finally, slightly out of breath, "Cale residence."_

_"Lo. It's Tavi."_

_"Hey, Tavi! Long time no see! Sorry it took me so long to answer. I was just getting back from a game of basketball with the guys. How have you been?"_

_"Lo, listen carefully, I don't have much time."_

_Logan's voice went from lighthearted to serious. "Should I record the call?"_

_"Only if you have the capacity to distort my voice. I'll call you back in twenty minutes."_

_"I'll be waiting."_

_Tavi drove as far and as fast as she could. It took her twenty-three minutes to find another pay phone. This time, she dialed a different number, and she was not surprised that Logan answered before the first ring was done._

_This time, the voice was distorted. "Eyes Only."_

_"This is informant 423. I have information for you."_

_"I am recording this conversation and your voice is being electronically distorted before audio capture. Go ahead."_

_"Do you recall my information about the government genetics lab in Wyoming? The one breeding super-soldiers?"_

_"Yes. I remember. Go ahead."_

_"The project is code-named Manticore, and a group of approximately one dozen of these genetically enhanced soldiers has escaped. If they are found, they will probably be killed. You have to protect them." Tavi's voice took on an anxious edge._

_"How can they be identified?"_

_"They're children, ranging from eight to approximately ten years old. Their heads are clean-shaven and when last seen they were barefoot and wearing hospital-style gowns. Their only distinguishing feature is a bar-code tattooed at the base of each of their skulls." Tavi nearly dropped the pay phone as her cell-phone rang. "One second, Eyes Only... Hello?"_

_"Tavi? It's Deck."_

_Tavi did her best to sound casual. "Yeah, what's going on?"_

_"I'm not sure what you did, Tavi, but it was _stupid_!" _

_Tavi could tell by his voice that he had been drinking. The shit must have _really_ hit the fan after her departure. "What do you mean, Deck?"_

_"Renfro wants your head on a platter, Tavi. Literally. What did you do?"_

_"Nothing! What are you talking about?" Tavi's voice was shaking as bad as her hands._

_"She thinks you've been leaking to the press."_

_"Bullshit! Have you seen a single news report, even in the tabloids, about us? If someone had been leaking, it would be all over the front page of every paper from the Weekly World News to the New York Times! Tell Renfro to get a life, Deck."_

_"She wants you back here in five minutes to explain yourself."_

_"Tell her I live twenty minutes away and that I'm in the middle of a bubble-bath anyway. Tell her if she thinks I'm going out in this cold with wet hair she can kiss my frost-bitten ass."_

_"I'm serious, Tavi. If you don't get your ass back here ASAP, you're going to be more hunted than our kids."_

_"At least tell me what they think I did, Deck. You owe me that."_

_"They think you've been smuggling documents out of Manticore. They think you've been leaking them to either the press or a foreign power." There was a long pause. "They're already selecting the firing-squad, Tavi."_

_"Take care of our kids, Deck. Promise me you'll take care of our kids."_

_"I'll do my best."_

_"No. Don't say you'll do your best. Say you'll take care of them."_

_"I'll take care of my kids."_

_"Thank-you, Deck. God bless you. Bye."_

_"Tavi!" Deck shouted as she hung up the phone._

_"Did you get all of that, Eyes Only?" Tavi asked into the pay phone._

_"Every word. I'm sorry."_

_"You promised it wouldn't go down like this!"_

_"It wasn't supposed to. Look... You know where to go. One of my people will be there with a new identity and enough money for you to live comfortably for several years wherever you want. He'll be waiting for you tomorrow night at 8:00."_

_"Thanks, Eyes Only. I'll bring you those files I've been promising you."_

_"I'm sorry."_

_"Me, too. Just... whatever happens, promise me you'll take care of my kids."_

_"I promise you. I will take care of them if it costs me my life."_

_"Bless you. This is informant 423 signing off." _

_Tavi hung up the phone and leaned against the wall of the phone booth, sobbing. A police siren that could not possibly have been meant for her reminded her that it was time to get moving. She emptied her car of her valuables and medical supplies, and of the precious disks, and stopped at the first bank she saw. Emptying her bank account, she suddenly realized exactly what Lydecker had done. He had given her time to get away. The teller had seen the look on her face, watched her begin to shake and had immediately called a manager who had found her a chair. It took her fifteen minutes to compose herself, at the end of which time she had thanked both profusely before fleeing like a thief in the night._

***

"Who are you and why are you in my bedroom crying?" Max asked weakly, sitting up.

Tavi looked up, shocked. "I'm sorry, lovely. I didn't mean to wake you. I'm a friend of Logan's. A doctor." She rose swiftly as Max tried to get up. "No, don't do that. You'll pull your IV line."

"IV?" Max looked down at her arm in surprise. "Oh... I guess the seizures were pretty bad, huh?"

"Pretty bad. Logan informs me that they're the worst he's ever seen you have, but everything's going to be okay now. We took care of you. You were delirious for a while. Do you remember? You called me Doctor Jericho?"

"Did I?" Max frowned in confusion. "I... I must have been pretty out of it."

"You were running a high fever." Tavi helped her lay back down. "I think you thought you were somewhere else."

"Oh. I'm sorry. You don't even look anything like her."

"Old friend is she?"

"She was... kind of my pediatrician. She took care of me when the seizures got really bad."

"Well, now you have me for that, lovely."

"She used to call me that, I think."

"Well, it's a fitting name." Tavi smiled at her and checked the IV line. "One more shot of seretonin, I think, for good measure."

"You're giving me seretonin?" Max asked, surprised that this stranger could have known the proper treatment for her condition.

"Well, Logan told me that the seizures are caused by your body's inability to produce adequate amounts of seretonin, so it seemed like a logical treatment. Certainly the anti-seizure medications weren't working."

"Logan was here?" Max asked, sitting up again.

Tavi gently pushed her back down. "He's still here. He'd been up for three days, so I gave him something to help him sleep. He's in your roommate's room now, sleeping."

"Three days? It's Friday?"

"It's Saturday. You've been ill for _four_ day, or so your Cindy tells me."

"Ill, like, unconscious?"

"Unconscious, delirious, or sleeping. Yes." Tavi nodded and delivered the seretonin into Max's IV. "You're a remarkable young woman, Max, if half of what Logan has told me is true."

"Wh... what did he tell you?" Max asked uncertainly.

"A great deal, indeed. But you needn't worry. Us fugitive-types have to stick together, after all."

"You're a fugitive? From who?"

"The same people as you, actually. I learned some stuff that I should never have known and then I was stupid enough to tell Logan about it." Tavi smiled down at her. "Try to rest, lovely. You've had quite an ordeal. No normal human would have survived it. Even you will take time to recover."

Max nodded weakly and returned her head to the pillow. "What's your name?"

"Octavia Johnson, lovely."

"Why were you crying?"

"Just reliving old times. So sorry."

"It's okay. It's nice to meet you." Max yawned loudly. "What did you give me?" she asked accusingly.

"Seretonin. It _will_ make you sleepy. It's one of the things seretonin does in a normal body. Don't worry. I won't give you anything without telling you what it is and what it does first. Scout's honor." 

Tavi smiled at Max and watched her fall back to sleep. Wiping away a final tear, she walked over to the sleeping woman and stood there, watching her chest rise and fall. She bent over and kissed Max on the forehead.

She leaned close to Max's ear and whispered. "I've missed you, baby, and I've been so worried, but I'm so proud of you."

"It's time to start talking."

Startled, Tavi looked up to see Cindy standing in the doorway, arms folded over her chest.


	2. Saints

**Saints and Demons**

Chapter 2 -- Saints

"So, basically, you designed my Boo?" Cindy asked quietly. They were sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee.

Tavi glanced at Bling snoring on the sofa and towards the door of Cindy's bedroom where Logan would still sleep for several more hours at least and nodded. "If you can call my part in it 'designing'. Deck was so specific on her. She had to be perfect in every respect. I did the best I could on her, on all of them, but she was sick. We tried to correct it, and the truth is that most of the subsequent versions of Max were worse off than she was. I still don't know why." Tavi sighed and buried her face in her hands. "I'm not evil, Cindy. I'm not some Frankenstein with pretensions of godhood. I just... I made some bad choices."

"You made more than a few bad choices mixing it up with Manticore."

Tavi looked up at her. "Do you remember the last wars of the twentieth century? The Gulf? Kosovo? Afghanistan? Did you _lose_ anyone in those wars? Did you watch your twin brother die of Gulf-War Syndrome or find out that the woman you loved had been shot down over Afghanistan? All I wanted was to spare others that kind of pain." She shook her head. "I didn't think these kids would have souls. They were just another piece of military technology until I held 423 in my arms the night she was born."

"423? Max?"

Tavi nodded. "Before they took her away, her mother made me promise to take care of her. Max was like a daughter to me. I loved them all, but I loved her the best. And I did what I could to ease her way. I convinced Deck to look the other way while she broke a thousand little rules--"

"Deck? Lydecker?"

Tavi nodded. "When they named each other, he was afraid that they would all have to be terminated, but I convinced him that if we kept it secret everything would be okay. It wasn't the only time. He _wanted_ to be convinced to treat them like real children instead of tools or soldiers, so I did."

"So you were like fairy god-mother for the X-5's?"

"No." Tavi shook her head. "I'm not a complete innocent. I did my share of reprehensible things to those kids, but I also did what I could to make it up to them. It was my fault that they were the way they were, so, when I could, I made things a little more pleasant for them. By keeping their secrets or gaining them this freedom or that. Deck was a willing accomplice." Tavi sighed. "But it wasn't enough for some of them."

"You mean the ones that broke out?"

"The ones that escaped, the ones that died before the escape..." Tavi wiped away tears. "There's no atonement for the things I've done. I know that now, and I accept it. But I don't want Max to have to remember those times, so I'd ask you not to tell her who I really am."

"Why doesn't she recognize you, though?" Cindy asked.

"I changed my appearance. Dropped 20 pounds that I couldn't afford to, cut my hair, changed its color..." Tavi shook her head. "And maybe she just doesn't _want_ to know."

"You must feel so horrible about the things you did." 

Tavi looked up at Cindy, but saw no recrimination in her eyes. "There isn't a day that passes when I don't cry myself to sleep at the end of it. My own cowardice is the only reason I'm still alive."

Cindy reached across the table and covered Tavi's hands with her own. "My Boo is still alive because of you, and, no matter what else you've done, that makes you redeemable in my book."

"Thank-you, Cindy. I can see that Max chose well when she picked you as a friend. You have a good soul."

"Thanks, Sugar." Cindy patted her hand. "More coffee?"

"Please." Tavi sighed. "Damn, life was so much easier before I picked Medicine."

Cindy turned from the coffeepot to Tavi. "You know, Logan says the same thing about Journalism. I think it's not the career that makes life complicated, but the person behind the career."

Tavi stared at her as she handed her a cup of coffee. "Are you always this wise, Cindy?"

"You should hear my anti-suicide spiel."

"Catch me closer to midnight when I actually need it and I'll be glad to give it a listen." Tavi rose with a sigh and made her way towards Max's room. She stopped at the door to Cindy's room and entered, pulling Logan's blanket back on and tucking him in.

"What was he to you?" Cindy asked as Tavi left the room.

"I thought I loved him." Tavi shrugged. "Maybe I was just looking for someone to have the 'perfect' life with. Two kids, a dog, a house. Maybe I actually _did_ love him in some way. More likely we were just convenient to each other. He had so many girlfriends then. With me, he knew he wouldn't have to give that up. And I wouldn't have had to admit the way I was. That was back when it was still a shameful thing. It was Logan who finally helped me admit it to myself."

"So what does that make him to you now?"

Tavi stared uncertainly at Logan. "Just a good friend, I guess. Maybe... maybe more than a good friend. Maybe the best friend I've ever had."

"That why you turned to him when your kids needed help."

Tavi nodded. "I knew I could trust him. Anyone else would have been tempted to sell them to the highest bidder. I always saw him for what he was, he's never been perfect, but I knew he wouldn't sell out my kids."

"So you turned to him?"

Tavi nodded. "Max was six when I contacted him for the first time. I didn't know he was Eyes Only, but I suspected that he would know who Eyes Only was. So I went to his door and said 'I need to talk to Eyes Only'. And he invited me inside and I told him everything. I cried that night, and Logan held me in his arms and told me that it would be all right. A few years later, he held me in his arms again and this time he gave me money and a new identity, too. I don't know why I came back to the States, but after I heard that Manticore was gone, I couldn't seem to stay away." Tavi shrugged. "Like a moth to flame, I guess. I returned to find my creations all over the front covers of cheap tabloids."

"Was Joshua one of yours?"

Tavi shrugged. "I don't know the names that all of them called themselves by. What was he? X-5? X-3?"

Cindy shook her head. "He was one of the early ones, I guess."

"I didn't come on the project until the X-5's were already in production. Did you see the front cover of the Inquisitor this week?"

"The lizard-man?" Cindy asked, nodding.

"She was one of mine." Tavi smiled faintly. "Her name is Sunny. Once she makes it to the desert, they'll never find her."

"Did Logan tell you about this virus thing that Max has?"

Tavi nodded. 

"Can you fix it?"

"Well, I certainly intend to try, but virulent diseases are not exactly my specialty. I'm more of a gene-therapy kind of girl."

"'A gene-therapy kind of girl', huh?" Cindy grinned. "Girl, you so hot when you talk dirty."

Tavi snickered and smiled at Cindy. "I should go check on Max now..."

"Oh, yeah, I guess you should."

"Let's share a cup of coffee some time."

"We just did."

"Right..." Tavi smiled shyly and bowed her head. "We should have lunch then."

"Lunch is good." Cindy grinned at her. "One of the three most important meals of the day."

"It is, isn't it?" Tavi winked and brushed past Cindy into Max's room.

"What is it with you and ex-girlfriends of Logan's?" Bling asked quietly from the couch.

Cindy walked over and picked up a pillow, hitting Bling over the head with it.

***

"Feeling better this morning, Max?"

Max nodded weakly and gratefully accepted the glass of water that Tavi handed her. "Kind of like I got hit by a truck, but otherwise not too bad."

"I'm guessing 'hit by a truck' to be an improvement?" Tavi sat on the edge of the bed and eyed Max eagerly.

"Pretty much, yeah." Max gulped the water. "This time was pretty bad."

"Do you remember what caused it?"

Max shook her head. "Not really. I was on a run and started feeling weak. But it didn't get bad until after I got home that night."

Tavi nodded. "Did you eat anything funny, maybe? Ride your bike through a cloud of pesticide or something? Anything at all out of the ordinary?"

Max hesitated. "I don't think so. I mean... there could have been, but I don't really think so."

Tavi nodded, frowning faintly. "Well, we'll figure it out for you. Do you think you could start keeping a diary recording any strange occurrences and the way you feel on a given day?"

"I could, but I don't see how it'll help."

Tavi rose and moved closer to Max. When she spoke, her voice was low. "Something triggered this. I just want to know what so I can keep it from happening again. Your body's only going to put up with so many of these attacks before it gets pissed at you. You do know that?"

Max nodded hesitantly. "I guess I always just looked at them as something I couldn't control."

"Well, let's look at past attacks and see if we can find some kind of trigger. It might give us a clue in this case."

"Okay. How much do you..."

"I know more about you than you know about yourself, X5-423."

"How?" Max asked, narrowing her eyes suspiciously.

"It's okay, Max." Logan assured her from the doorway.

Tavi glanced at him with a frown. "You should still be asleep."

"I wanted to check on Max."

"Do you two need a minute?" Tavi asked, rising.

Logan nodded gently. "Several would be nice." 

"She doesn't leave that bed." Tavi pointed a stern finger at Max before leaving the room.

"Where'd you dig her up?" Max asked, smiling at Logan.

"Oh, I have my sources."

"I have the strangest feeling that I know her." Max shrugged. "She reminds me of Doctor Jericho."

"Who?"

"This really sweet doctor who used to take care of me when I got sick." Max frowned thoughtfully. "She hung out with Lydecker a lot. She had the prettiest eyes." Max's frown dissolved into a smile.

"Yeah?" Logan wheeled closer. "Did you like her?"

Max considered this for a moment. "I guess, out of everyone there, she was the nicest. For what that's worth."

Logan smiled warmly at her, then changed the subject. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired, but better. I'm sorry to have worried you all so much."

"Don't be." Logan rolled to the side of the bed. "We love you so we worry about you."

"'We', huh?" Max smiled at him.

"Yeah." Logan licked his lips and nodded. "We love you, Max."

She grinned at him. "That's good to know."

"Sometimes it takes someone getting sick to realize quite how much you depend on that person." Logan reached out to brush a stray piece of hair out of her face, then caught himself and pulled his hand back. "Doctor Johnson might be able to cure this virus."

"That's the best news I've had all day." Max noticed, for the first time, that he was in the chair. "What happened?"

"Short circuit. Never had a chance to fix it."

"Well, you'd better. Once Doc Johnson fixes me up, you owe me a dance."

Logan raised an eyebrow. "Do I?"

Smiling wickedly, Max nodded, then yawned. "Sorry."

"Get some rest." Logan suggested gently. "I'll talk to you later."

"Yeah." Max smiled at him and stretched out on the bed again, adjusting her IV tubing. "Ask the doctor when I can get rid of this, huh."

"Will do." Logan smiled at her and left.

***

"Is recovering from being sick always this frustrating?" Max asked Bling as he helped her out of the car.

Bling nodded gravely and supported Max until she was steady on her feet again. "If it helps, just imagine how much harder it was for Logan to get into and out of the car."

Max sighed and nodded. "I just don't understand why it's so hard to get over it this time."

"Tavi says the fever fried your brain."

Max rolled her eyes. "She probably put it in just those words, too."

Bling laughed and nodded. "She says if you're not good I have permission to make you take the stairs."

"No she didn't."

Bling laughed again. "Okay, so she'd skin me alive if I made you take the stairs. But she says that you're damned lucky to have all those undifferentiated stem-cell floating around in your blood. Without them, the fever and the seizures would have done permanent damage."

Max sighed as she let Bling help her onto the elevator. Needing help to complete even the simplest acts was quickly becoming the most annoying experience of her life. It did not help that Tavi refused to let her ride her bike.

"So, what do we have scheduled for me today?"

"Just some tests of your balance and strength."

"And some cognitive memory-recognition tasks!" Tavi called, racing to catch the elevator.

"Yea!" Max muttered sarcastically.

"Be of good cheer, lovely. Your recovery is progressing... amazingly. I've certainly never seen anything like it."

Max sighed and leaned against the wall. It had been a week since she had woken up to find a strange woman weeping in her bedroom, and life was carrying on, it seemed, for everyone but her. Tavi and Logan seemed to have picked up their friendship exactly where they had left it. Eyes Only was still broadcasting. Cindy was back at work. Bling was once again only an occasional presence, occupied with his other clients. For her part, Max was still on bedrest 18 hours out of the day, forbidden from working, and she never saw anyone but Logan, Cindy, Bling, and Tavi. Cindy and Tavi thought that Max had not noticed that they spent most nights together, but Max's brain was not _that_ addled. At least it meant she did not have to worry about Tavi spending her nights with Logan, which was something.

Logan was waiting for them with a large breakfast. Famished, Max almost ignored him on her way to the table. Logan laughingly called this the best indicator of her recovery to date. As she ate with Bling, Logan and Tavi spoke in hushed voices. Something had them worried, Max could tell. She determined to challenge Logan on it immediately after breakfast, but he had gone by the time she was finished. That left Max at the mercy of Tavi and Bling, who worked her relentlessly for the rest of the morning. By noon, she was too tired to even consider eating, and she collapsed on the couch for a nap. As she drifted off, she was vaguely aware that Bling and Tavi were now speaking in the same hushed tones that Logan and Tavi had been using a few hours ago, but she was too tired to question.

***

"Not chemical warefare?" Asha asked Logan, frowning. "You're sure?"

Logan nodded. "Pretty sure."

"But people are getting sick all over the place." Asha hesitated. "Speaking of which..."

"We don't know how Max is going to be yet." Logan sighed. "She hasn't had a seizure in days, but she's still very weak and no one can figure out why or why it's taking her so long to recover."

"Why is she so much more affected than any of the normal people who have been exposed?" Asha asked.

Logan winced at that particular use of the word 'normal'. It was as if Asha was saying that everyone exposed to the mysterious toxin was normal. Except for Max, who, by process of elimination, must be abnormal. He suddenly found himself understanding why Max so frequently looked as if she wanted to slap Asha. "Tavi theorizes that it's because the toxin attacks seretonin receptors. Max is more vulnerable because her body doesn't produce seretonin very well. But Tavi says that if it were biological warfare it would be completely blocking the receptors instead of just attacking and partially disabling them."

Asha shrugged as if this explanation explained nothing. "So, if it's not chemical warfare, what is it?"

"Pesticide is Tavi's best guess. She says that this attack is not dissimilar to another attack that Max had when she was a little girl in which she was exposed to an experimental pesticide."

"So, can we use this intelligence to figure out where it's coming from?"

"Theoretically, yes."

"So, let's find out what Max's route was that day." 

"Easier said than done." 

"Go to that boss of hers." Asha suggested, putting her hands on her hips. "I want to know what this thing is and why I've got seven sick operatives. Then I want to get the person who produced this toxin alone for five minutes and beat some answers out of him. And what the hell are you laughing at?"

"You and Max have a lot in common." Logan shook his head and walked off. "I'll call you when I have something else."

"Me and Max?" Asha laughed and shook her head. "Right. And all her furry little friends, too."

***

"You want to know the location of all Max's deliveries for the week before she got sick?" Normal frowned uncertainly at Logan. "I'm not sure I can do that, Logan. The names and addresses of my clients are supposed to be classified."

"Ray, I can understand that..." Logan smiled his most winning smile and closed the office door. "But you have to understand the position that we're in here. It's been all I can do to keep the CDC off of your back. I keep pointing out that Max is the only one of your employees to get sick to date, but they throw it right back in my face that she was also the first person to get sick." Logan sighed. "Meanwhile, everyone _except_ Max is getting better. Ray, all I want is to find out what's wrong with her and fix it. Please... if you can help me..."

"What's your fax number?" Normal mumbled without looking at him.

Logan quickly wrote it down for him and left after shaking his hand not less than five or six times. Normal, who did not for one minute believe the CDC story, did believe that the other man was distraught by Max's condition. He had seen her only once since Cindy had reported that she was sick, and he had hardly recognized the stumbling, stuttering woman who had once been his best employee. Cindy had been lying about the chest pains, obviously, but there was _something_ wrong with her, and Normal was willing to break the rules this once if it would help her out.

Sighing and shaking his head, he began shuffling through his back records.

***

"But I don't _remember_ inhaling anything!" Max protested as Tavi drew yet another vial of blood.

Tavi's voice was patient but firm. "Max, people all over the city are getting sick. We're past the point of pretending that nothing happened to make you like this. Talk to me."

"No." Max shook her head. "Nothing happened."

"Max, please!" Logan pleaded.

"No! I don't want Joshua..." she trailed off, paling.

"Joshua?" Logan asked, raising his eyebrows. "What about Joshua."

"We were... He was showing me something he'd found in the woods outside the city. But it can't be that because he's fine. Right? I mean, Cindy's been checking on him every day and he's just fine..." Max's voice had taken on a frantic edge.

Tavi spoke in as comforting a tone as she could. "Yes, Joshua is fine, but he might be immune. A carrier, even."

"Joshua's not exposing anyone to anything. He never leaves the house."

"You said he was showing you something he found in the woods."

"That's different." Max protested. "He doesn't..."

Tavi stared up at her. "What, Max? You can tell me."

"He's not like me. He doesn't go near other people because they wouldn't understand..."

"Was he a Nomly?" Tavi asked. 

Max nodded weakly. "But he's not sick."

Tavi, who knew how much the X-5's had feared the 'Nomlies' as children, did not bat an eyelash. "What did he find in the woods, Max?"

"Some old crates."

"What was in them?"

"I don't know. I was scared. I wouldn't let him look inside."

"Why were you scared?" Tavi asked gently.

"Because of the picture on the boxes. I remembered it." Max's voice had taken on a distinctly childlike tone. It was not an uncommon occurrence these days when she got emotional. It was a symptom of the continued deterioration of her mind.

Tavi handed her a pen and a piece of paper. "Show me."

Max quickly scribbled a pattern. "It was like this."

"Holy mother..." Tavi breathed.

"What is that?" Logan asked. "I've never seen it before."

"Remember back at the turn of the century when biological warfare was suddenly the big thing?" Tavi asked.

"Yeah."

"Well, they stopped using the standard biohazard tag on biochemical weapons because it was just too common."

"So Asha was right? It is chemical warfare?"

Tavi sighed and nodded. "If this symbol was all over the crates, my best guess is that they were full of some kind of experimental biotoxin that never got used."

"How'd it end up in the woods outside Seattle?"

"Very good question. My guess is that there was probably some sort of facility there at some point."

"But where did the facility go?"

"Who knows? It could be twenty feet from where Max found the crates. They could have fallen off of a truck at some point and been forgotten before a team could be sent out to clean them up. The Pulse led to a lot of similar situations."

Logan shook his head. "It makes no sense, Tavi. Why would they pack a toxin in wooden crates in the first place." 

As Tavi shook her head, Max spoke a single, quiet word. "Biostyrine."

Logan and Tavi both stared at her, open-mouthed. "Huh?" Logan asked.

"Biostyrine." Tavi nodded. "I understand. They thought that it would replace steel in a few years. It was lighter, stronger, and, unfortunately, about a thousand times more biodegradable, which no one expected. They packed a lot of germs and radioactive materials in wooden crates lined with biostyrine only to have it degrade during transport. They were able to explain the ensuing chaos away as another result of the Pulse."

"So, what you're telling me is that we've got a couple of biodegradable crates full of germs sitting in the woods just waiting for a windstorm to come stir it up?" Logan looked nauseous.

Tavi nodded. "Yeah, and for everyone who's not an X-5, the results shouldn't be worse than the common flu. For them..."

"Tell me you can fix the damage."

"If I can find the substance, yeah, I _should_ be able to. But I still don't know how it's affecting other Manticore offspring. I'd like to be able to help them, too, if they're sick."

"Once you come up with a cure, I can do a broadcast."

"Great. Now I just need Max to show me where this stuff is located so I can get a sample."

"She's too weak."

"Then this Joshua can show me."

"No!" Max protested, shaking her head. "It's my job to protect him from people like you."

"Lo, can we have a minute?"

Looking worried, Logan left the two women alone.

"You know who I am, don't you, Max?"

She nodded. "You're Doctor Jericho. I remember you."

"Why didn't you say anything earlier?"

Max glared at her suspiciously and refused to speak.

"Max." Tavi tried to sound stern. "I only want to make things right for you, to give you the life you've never been able to have. You and I both know that this toxin is slowly killing you."

"I won't let you hurt Joshua!" Max replied defiantly, crossing her arms.

Shaking her head in frustration, Tavi decided to try a different tack: one that might well alienate Max forever, but also one that had the potential to save her life. "Joshua is a Nomly!" Tavi shouted. "Real scientists have no interest in Nomlies when there are _real_ soldiers to be concerned with. If we were interested in the Nomlies, do you think we would have locked them in the basement? I have no interest in your little _pet_, X5-423. All I care about is you. But if you cross me..." Tavi pointed an angry finger at her. "I'll make you both suffer."

Max was shaking, and Tavi saw that Logan had peered back into the room at the sound of her shouting. Both were staring at her in shock. Tavi felt like being ill, but she saw that she had produced the desired effect in Max.

"I'll show you." Max's voice was a whisper. "But only if you promise to leave Joshua alone."

"You deliver and I'll pretend I've never heard the name Joshua." 

"Thank-you, Doctor Jericho." 

Logan gaped at the two women. "What did I just miss?"

"Oh, just some boring old girl-talk. Now are you going to drive us or do we have to walk?" Tavi regarded him curiously.

***

"And we're sure that this stuff will neutralize the agent?" Asha asked skeptically, staring at awe at the moldering pile of crates in the forest.

Tavi nodded patiently for the fourth time. "Positive."

"And Max?"

"Recovering. She'll be back to work in a day or two."

"You must be one hell of a doctor."

"I consider myself so." Tavi turned her back to Asha and winked at Cindy, who was leaning against Logan's car and trying hard not to laugh. 

"So, how's this work?" Cindy asked brightly.

"Basically we just smash the crates and hose down the contents with the counteragent." Tavi pulled on her respirator and took the axe that Cindy offered her. She returned to the pile of crates, followed closely by Logan. As she walked past Asha, she remarked, "Sometimes smashing the hell out of something with an axe can be very… therapeutic."

Asha stared at her uncertainly as she put theory into practice, swinging the axe with a grunt. "Never an X-5 around when you need one, is there?" she remarked with a smile, pulling on her own respirator and picking up an axe of her own.

"I'd offer to help," Alec said with a smile, holding up his still-healing arm, "but you know between this and my slight phobia of having my higher brain-functions screwed with."

"You know, Sugar," Cindy told him with a smile, "that happens to guys every day."

Alec rolled his eyes. "Really?" he asked.

"Yup. Right, Tavi?"

"Right, Sugar!" Tavi replied. "Every time they look at a pretty woman."

"Funny…" Alec walked off, grumbling to himself.

Tavi noticed that Asha looked concerned. "He'll be back," she assured her, "once he realizes how long the walk back into town is." 

Asha laughed and continued demolishing the crates. Logan just shook his head, wondering what it was about him that he could not seem to attract any 'normal' women to his social circle. He reminded himself to have Cindy explain it later.

***

"So, now that Max is rubbing her stomach and patting her head again, I guess you'll be leaving Seattle?" Cindy asked Tavi softly.

Tavi stared into her coffee-mug thoughtfully. "I was thinking that I might hang around for a while… I guess I have some reasons to stay."

"Reasons like Max and Logan?" Cindy asked.

"Them, yeah." Tavi half looked up. "Other reasons, too, maybe. If those reasons are amenable to me hanging around."

Cindy smiled hopefully. "Any of those reasons have names?"

Tavi stared steadily at Cindy. "What do you think?" She looked down at her mug again. "Of course, it's been so long since I've let myself get close to anyone that I sort of forget how the game is played."

Cindy reached across the table and covered Tavi's hands with her own. "You play it just fine, Sugar. Like an old pro."

"That's odd, under the circumstances." Tavi shrugged. "But I meant it." She looked hopefully at Cindy. "If you want me to stay, and if Max doesn't mind too bad, I _will_ stay."

Cindy folded her arms over her chest. "Well, then, I think you'd better get your butt into the living room and ask Max if she minds." 

Tavi smiled incredulously. "You want me to stay?"

"Course I do, Sugar. Original Cindy is _not_ into playing games with people's hearts. Their heads, sometimes, but not their hearts."

"I appreciate that, Cindy." Tavi smiled. "It's been so long since I've been close to someone… It's almost like learning to walk again. Only… more fun than walking."

Cindy laughed and shook her head. "Sugar… You're almost as funny as my Boo."

"God, it must be nice to be Max."

"How you figure that?" Cindy asked, surprised.

"Everyone she knows loves her. Just like that. She's the kind of woman that woman can comfortably call 'best friend' and men write poems about, and she doesn't even have to try. It must be nice."

"Actually, it's a real pain in the ass most days."

Tavi smiled. "Good morning, Max."  
"Can I go to work yet?"

"Today?"

"Sure. Why not?"

"Because it's Sunday." Tavi grinned at Max. "Sit down and have some breakfast. You can go back tomorrow."

After about five minutes of silent eating, Max said, "Mmm… Who made breakfast?"

Tavi raised her hand without looking up from her coffee.

Cindy cleared her throat. "Tavi…"

"Yeah. Max, I guess we need to talk." She smiled hopefully.

Max looked from Tavi to Cindy and shrugged. "It's not as traumatizing as when I found out Kendra was sleeping with Walter. You two have fun."

Tavi blinked in surprise. "You mean it?"

"Sure." Max nodded. "It has the added bonus of keeping you in town long enough to cure me of my _other_ problem."

"You know that I don't know much about viruses, don't you?"

"I'm sure you're a quick learner." Max grinned at her. "And you make good pancakes. Oh! And you can keep Logan in line, which is a nice added bonus."

Tavi sniggered and shook her head. "Gee, drug a guy once…"

Max shook her head. "Oh, the horrors of being a girl with a reputation."

"That's one hell of a reputation." Cindy laughed.

"Guess I'd better start looking for an apartment." 

"No need." Max grinned at Tavi. "Logan found just the place for you."

"What?" Tavi smiled at Max uncertainly. 

"It's by this really cool lab that's just full of shiny new equipment." Max grinned at her before returning her attention to breakfast.

Cindy grinned and patted Tavi on the shoulder. "I think you just earned the Max Gueverra seal of approval, Sugar."

Max smiled up at them. "Someone better call hell and tell them to turn down the AC." 

"Too late." Tavi shook her head. "Thank-you, Max."

"Thank-you, Doctor Jericho." Max winked at her. "Oops. Doctor Johnson."

After breakfast, Tavi muttered a few words to a shocked-looking Cindy, then walked up to Max. "Hey, can we go for a walk?"

"Um… sure." Max regarded her uncertainly. "Where are we going?"

It was Cindy who answered. "For some weird reason, Tavi wants to take you to church."

Max frowned in confusion. "I don't get it."

"You will. Mostly I just want to talk to you."

"Okay." Max shrugged and followed Tavi out the door. "What's up?" she asked once they had hit the street.

"Logan told me that a lot of your brothers and sisters are dead?"

Max frowned. "Yeah. I don't really like to talk about it."

"You don't have to. Logan filled me in. I'm sorry."

"It's… okay. I guess. Why did you want to talk about them?"

"Not all of them. Just Ben."

"Ben?" Max stopped and stared at her. "I don't want to talk about how Ben died."

"Neither do I. Hearing that story once was bad enough. I want to talk about how he lived."

"I don't know what you mean."

"Do you remember that night you got sick with the really bad seizures? Deck sat up with you all night."

"You were there, too. I remembered that when I was sick."

Tavi nodded. "Remember what Deck called you?"

Max started to shake her head, then stopped. "He called me 'Max'. He knew my name."

"We knew a lot of things about you kids. Things you thought were secret. Your names, the games you played, that secret language you invented. The religion you created."

Max winced. The conversation had come right back to Ben. "I said that I didn't want to talk about it."

"Then let me talk about your beautiful Blue Lady, Max. About how many lives she's changed."

"I don't know what you mean."

"Come with me." Tavi pointed to their destination, a large cathedral. "The Church of Our Lady of Hope, Max. I used to attend this church when I was a little girl." She turned to face the younger woman. "Have you ever been inside a church, Max?"

Max shook her head. "In case you don't remember, faith wasn't exactly encouraged at Manticore."

"No, but it was allowed. Come on." Tavi gently took Max's hand and led her into the church. She saw Max staring intently at the crucifix over the alter. "Jesus, Max, the son of God. A lot of people believe, I believe, that he sacrificed his life to save the whole world." She gently pulled her forward. "He was a teacher and a healer, Max, who preached peace and understanding and who willing died to make that point."

"He's beautiful…" Max whispered, staring at the crucifix.

"He is. Now, here's what I really wanted to show you." She led Max to a small shrine set off to one side. "His mother."

Max stopped in her tracks. "The Blue Lady…" she whispered.

"You didn't know?" Tavi shook her head. "I thought after all of these years you would have at least seen a picture somewhere. I guess I should have known better. Her name was Mary."

"Mary?" Max smiled. "It's pretty."

"She gave birth to Jesus and raised him to be a great man." Tavi smiled at Max. "I thought you were old enough to learn about these things. I used to be a very religious person. It's why I convinced Deck to look the other way when you kids found that statue."

"You want me to become religious?" Max asked uncertainly, staring at her. "Like you used to be?"

Tavi shook her head. "No. I just want you to understand what it is that a dozen kids had ten years ago that helped keep them alive through some of the worst conditions imaginable."

"Her?" Max reached out and reverentially brushed her hand against the hem of the statue's dress.

"Her, yes. But more than her. It wasn't a religion or a saint in a religion that kept you kids strong. It was hope, Max. Logan tells me that you begin to lose your hope. I can't allow that, Max. I once made a promise, and I swore it in her name, that I would keep you well and strong and full of hope and passion and all the things that make you special."

"Our Lady of Hope?" Max asked, staring at the statue.

"Our Lady of Hope, Our Lady of Peace, she has as many names as her son, Max. Find the one that suits you. Maybe you're too old to learn religion or faith, Max, but I know that you can learn Hope, Max, because you once had it."

Max stared at the statue thoughtfully as Tavi walked from the church. Looking at the rows of candles near the statue, she lit one and stared back up at the statue.

"Take care of Ben for me…" she whispered before following Tavi from the church. 


End file.
